The Daily Telegraph reports:

Chris Philp, the shadow home secretary, said Labour were “pouring taxpayers’ money into perks when every effort should be on deportations”.

Mr Philp added: “Hiring gym managers and balloon craft tutors for people who must be deported is indefensible and must be stopped immediately.”

It looks like the UK is training people traffickers to use a new mode of transport in addition to small boats, to bring people to the UK: Balloons.

Now Dover can expect a dawn chorus of balloons coming from France to land in some field and dispatch a basket full into the countryside.