The London Times reports:

Police investigating £300,000 cheese ‘theft’ arrest man, 63

Detectives have detained a suspect after top-tier British cheddar was allegedly stolen from Neal’s Yard Dairy by con artists posing as French buyers.

The suspect and his dog - Gromit - were arrested in an outhouse in Yorkshire.

The man was apparently wearing 'the wrong trousers'.

Staff at Neal's Yard suspected the worst when so the so-called 'French' buyer said:

'Good Moaning. I was pissing by the door when I heard a shat'.