The UK Labour Party is rumoured to be considering a new law mandating mixed race families in the UK if it wins the next election.

A Labour Party spokesperson told FNN:

This new law is long overdue in order to bring real-world British families into line with what is portrayed daily in TV programmes and advertising.

For too long it has been the case that in the real-world the majority of families are all white, all black or all Asian and not a rainbow mix with the odd disabled or alphabet person thrown in. This has to stop.

The law will require that every family has a white mum and a black dad and that the children include at least one Asian and one Oriental, and that there's evidence of a wheelchair and some same sex snogging going on.

This is the only way to ensure that reality reflects what people see on TV.

Yes, we know it's social diversity engineering (SDE) but SDE is now the most popular course offered by the Open University so we think we are onto a vote-winner.

However, here at FNN we know that not everyone will be happy with this new law.

For example Brother Louie's girlfriend's father told FNN over a hot chocolate:

I don't want no honky in my family, you dig? No honky in my family.

Whereas Louie's own father told us:

I don't want no spook in my family. Get it, no spook in my family.

Oh dear.