From December 31, 2020 the EU has announced that anyone who voted remain in the UK Brexit referendum can get a special "Remain" stamp in their passport that allows them to enter the EU without a visa and excludes them from tariffs on essential foodstuffs such as French croissants, German frankfurters, Greek olives and Italian pizzas.

A spokeperson for a leading UK supermarket chain commented:

Thank God that common sense has prevailed. The shortage of toilet rolls was bad enough for the British consumer but to deprive them of staple foods like croissants, frankfurters, olives and pizzas would have been the last straw. I mean, we might have to get our lamb from places like Wales or New Zealand for fuck's sake!

Meanwhile, those with a "Leave" stamp in their passports will be tarred and feathered on entry to the EU and unable to purchase BMWs, Mercedes, Volkswagens and other emission tampered vehicles except for the diesel versions that no-one wants despite them being recommended by the EU in the past.

A spokesperson for a leading German automobile manufacturer commented:

This is just deserts for all those leaver bastards in the class action lawsuit against our company for emissions tampering. Vorsprung Durch Schwindel.

We asked the EU spokesperson Ursula von Richthofen how remainers and leavers would be identified at the border and she clarified that people would get a remain stamp if they:

  • carried a copy of The Guardian
  • the men sported twirly moustaches or hipster beards
  • the women wore cool jeans and adolescent baseball boots from a cool brand like Converse

Whereas people would get a leaver stamp if they:

  • carried a copy of The Daily Mail
  • were old white men or had shaven heads or tattoos
  • the women had big tits, exposed cleavage and wore tight leggings

She also confirmed that those with a remain stamp could enter the EU through any normal port of entry. However, those with a leave stamp could only enter the EU via a new processing centre located at Peenemunde on the Baltic Sea - a former V1 rocket base from WW2.

Fake News understands that there are no ferries from the UK to Peenemunde, there is no airport in the vicinity and no autobahn exit.