The White House press secretary has claimed that it was a pure coincidence of dates that on March 29, 2024, U.S. President Joe Biden issued a proclamation declaring March 31, 2024, the Transgender Day of Visibility - when 31/03/24 coincided with Easter Sunday, an important day in the Christian calendar celebrating the resurrection of Christ.

Anyone can forget a date right? Even a Christian as devout as the President.

But FNN does not believe it was a coincidence and is merely the first step in a sinister 'reframing' of the Resurrection narrative as the 'Transformation'.

This belief is based on a new gospel found buried under St Oggs cathedral in Engerland that provides an alternate story of the miraculous event in which Jesus died as a man but was resurrected as a woman. Hence the Transformation.

The Bishop of St Oggs cathedral told FNN:

This stunning new gospel was found under the tomb of St Ogg, itself covered by the newly restored 'rainbow shroud' of St Ogg, and will establish our cathedral as the source of a timely and challenging new story about Jesus.

We are gearing up for an influx of 'transformation pilgrims', of all genders, who wish to read the gospel for themselves.

However, the gospel is only available to view in special booths in our visitors shop under the direct oversight of the Dean.

Please go to our website - oggyoggyoi.co.uk - to book your viewing slot.

The Rev. Noote commented: Holy Moses!

The Archdeacon was heard to mutter: Never mind all that nonsense. How about a sherry?