Leading fast food chains in the UK have announced that they are withdrawing many staple items such as bacon rolls and BLTs from their shelves as they have been found to contain meat and vegetables.

A spokesperson told FNN:

We apologise to our customers for this horrifying oversight.

Apparently a batch of bacon rolls was found to contain meat and another batch of BLT sandwiches to contain vegetables, instead of the often unidentifiable stuff usually found in these products that our customers have become used to and love.

A customer interviewed at a motorway service station off the M25 commented:

My roll had bacon in it and my wife's BLT had lettuce and tomato in it.

Shortly after eating, we both had to head for the toilets as our stomachs rejected the unfamiliar ingredients and blasted them out, Jackson Pollock-style.

EU spokesperson Ursula Von Richthofen commented:

What can you expect from disgusting Brexit-Britain food?

Stick to bratwurst mit curry sauce und pomme frites and you can't go wrong.

That's what I do and I've never soiled my lederhosen.

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