The City by the Bay - San Francisco - has issued new guidelines for tourists coming to the city.

FNN has learned that the guidelines include:

• bring your own tent as the city is completely sold out
• bring your own toilet paper (so you can crap on the sidewalk)
• do not bring your own Fentanyl as there is plenty available on the street

A spokesperson for the city's Mayor told FNN:

Expect a Warm Welcome from SFO's cheerful homeless and world-class panhandlers but don't bother calling 911 as we have no police to respond due to budget cuts.

The spokesperson also denied that the current crisis in the city is the reason for the rapid rise in the music charts of the new hit: "I lost my wallet, in San Francisco" and that beautiful downtown Oakland is now the destination of choice for tourists to the Bay Area.

Clint Eastwood (107) is rumoured to have called the Mayor 'a salty dude' and offered to 'make the Mayor's day' with the help of a .357 Magnum or a bottle of Draino.