A sonic boom was heard over Utah when something that looked like a meteor streaked across the sky. Scientists have denied that this was 'spaceham' (a hamster recently launched into space from Japan) or that it had anything to do with the spiralling lightshow spotted in New Zealand, claimed to be created from SpaceX rocket exhaust. Instead, the source is closer to home.

A spokesperson for the Idaho Potato Marketing Board told FNN:

This was one of our new supersonic potatoes - specifically bred to deliver itself from a field to your kitchen without the need for any carbon-producing transportation. The supersonic potato is powered by a top-secret power source (naturally) that is likely to be used with other vegetables soon in order to help reduce world food shortages.

By the time the potato arrives it is already in mash form and suitable for serving immediately. Yum!

EU spokesperson Ursula Von Richthofen commented:

We are investigating using supersonic potatos as a means to bombard Russia as the potatos can evade any known air defence system and cannot be detected by radar. We have sent a sack to President Zelensky. Vorpsrung durch Teknik!