Nuclear war has been averted despite a Russian missile hitting New York.

President Biden was about to launch a nuclear strike after it was reported that a Russian missile had hit a building in New York.

A Pentagon spokesperson explained:

When news of the missile strike on New York reached the Pentagon, nobody did any checking and so the President was advised to launch a retaliatory strike against Moscow.

Luckily a nearby Ukrainian office cleaner - man she's hot - happened to mention that there is a town called New York in the Ukraine and that was probably the target. This turned out to be correct.

It was also lucky that the President fell over when he was about to push the Nuke button and when he got up he couldn't remember what he was doing and wandered off into the White House garden to prune the roses instead.