Sir Keir Starmer was met with jubiliation by remoaners as he returned to Britain after agreeing a landmark treaty with the German Chancellor Herr Scholtz.

To cheers from tearful remoaners crowded outside 10 Downing Street, the Prime Minister said:

My good friends, for the third time in our history, a British Prime Minister has returned from Germany bringing peace with honour. I believe it is peace for our time. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Go home and get a nice quiet sleep.

A spokesperson explained:

This treaty with Germany is a crucial first step in re-integrating the UK with Europe and rendering the Reform party irrelevant in British politics.

Nigel Farage commented:

I just fear we are really heading for BINO - Brexit in name only - under a Labour government.