In a surprise move, Google has offered to buy Greenland.

While the official reason for buying Greenland is claimed to be as a cool site for millions of new Google server farms to store the "big data" we are all giving it without our explicit consent, FNN has learned that the real reason is to do with Christmas.

By purchasing Greenland, Google gets the right to all the "naughty" or "nice" data currently managed by Santa Claus Enterprises, a NGO based at the North Pole.

An anonymous Google spokesperson explained:

We don't have enough data about children under 11 to profile them accurately so we figured out that we could gain the upper hand over Facebook by getting our hands on Santa's "naughty list" via the purchase of Greenland.

The naughty list also has the advantage that it is updated annually. Now we can track naughtiness trends and then serve appropriate ads for naughty products to children, subject to our transparent and rigorous parental guidance controls of course. 

Santa was too busy to comment.