An innovative newspaper, the Advocant, is to be launched in the UK. Instead of being focused on unbiased and balanced news coverage, the Advocant will instead be entirely focused on reporting only news that conforms to "The Narrative" and feature articles which are merely opinion pieces rather than real journalism.

The Advocant will also feature subliminal in-article product placement, as is used in movies, so that readers are not disturbed by that pesky separate advertising which is easy to identify and ignore.

FNN asked the Advocant the rationale for their name and a spokesperson told us:

Our new publication, like most these days, is focused on advocacy so why not name it to reflect that fact? Also we liked the resonance with the drink Advocaat which is a sickly yellow colour and makes you puke if you drink too much of it.

We wondered about what place the "truth" would have in such a publication so we asked US Marine Colonel Nathan R Jessep for his opinion:

The Truth? You can't handle the Truth! What you need is news curation so that you only read what you need to know. Othwerwise you might form your own opinion and disobey orders.

Well. That seems clear enough.