Given the nostalgia the British public feels for the COVID lockdown period, the Government has decided to mandate 'lockdown Fridays' into law.

This will mean that everyone is entitled to a 3-day weekend, every week, if they abide by the rules.

FNN has learned that in order to retain the spirit of the original lockdown, lockdown Fridays will incorporate the following rules:

- you must remain in your own home
- you must wear a face mask at all times
- your 'bubble' can only include you and a pet at least six inches long

Anyone caught violating these rules will be imprisoned and banned from travel for life.

Every fourth Friday will be a special 'Vaxday' when anyone who wants one can have another vaccine booster to add to their list of shots on their NHS vaccination certificate. Local leader boards will be published online and at the end of the year, the top 100 people from each county will be given a free ticket to Dr Fauci's nationwide "Gain of Function UK" tour.