Following calls for the ban of imported Chinese garlic in the USA, another senator has now called for a ban on Chinese takeaway meals.

A spokesperson told FNN:

We have discovered that the waxed paper containers used for Chinese takeaways may include a wafer-thin Huawei GPS chip that can be used to track where the takeaway ended up, thus exposing the people ordering the takeaway to Chinese blackmail or kidnapping.

This is the case when you order numba 11, 33 and 51 from the takeaway menu as these dishes require a thicker waxed paper container, which allows for the GPS chip to be inserted.

Once these takeaway consumers have been identified it is claimed that Chinese agents target them for kidnapping in order to turn them into a new generation of 'Manchurian Candidates' trained to undermine US democracy.

The Chinese are particularly targeting geriatric Chinese takeaway eaters over 80 since this demographic is the most likely to be elected as a US President.

Angela Lansbury and Laurence Harvey were unavailable for comment.