Britain's Minority Assimilation Department (MAD) is the first to recognise a new minority to be known as the "minority of one" or M1.

The new minority of one, the M1, reflects that fact that we are all a unique combination of "intersections" (as well as overpasses and rest stops) due to our genetic makeup and our environmental/societal background.

This allows anyone and everyone to be defined as a minority and therefore we can all claim to be:

• oppressed
• a victim
• in need of positive discrimination

A MAD spokesperson commented:

The M1 is going to mean a lot more work for our department but we are up for the challenge.

The new minority of one will literally create millions of new jobs as we will need one-to-one advisors to give each of us the empathy we need, especially while driving.

The other positive thing about the minority of one is that it fully recognizes the diversity of our society and aims to include us all rather than just focus on a few problematic minorities that are in any case based on totally, like, fluid concepts like race and gender so subject to constant morphing to suit whatever the current minority meme happens to be. Boom shaka lacka!