The Bank of England has announced that there is something called inflation and that it is partly caused by printing lots of money while watching the cost of everything go up - like the cost of the Bank England pension scheme and annual bonuses.

Previously inflation was thought to be extinct, a relic of the 70's, but it has returned and is climbing faster than expected by the fiscal geniuses at the Bank.

A spokesperson for the Bank of England told FNN:

We used to measure inflation by an index based on the price of Jaffa Cakes, which has not risen for years, mainly because they are gradually getting smaller and the orange jelly in the middle is being steadily diluted.

But then we were told that we should be tracking a basket of costs that reflects what most people actually have to pay on a monthly basis.

This was a revelation to us and is the reason why we now acknowledge that inflation has exceeded our 2% target by 746%.