Sky News reports:

Half-tonne piece of Soviet rocket may have crashed through atmosphere over south of England

FNN can confirm that debris has in fact landed in a garden in North Dorset.

The householder told FNN:

The debris, that looks like one of those Russian dolls, smashed into a Buddha in my garden.

I knew the UK was under imminent threat from Russia but didn't realise that threat would end up ruining my lawn.

A spokesperson from MI6 told FNN:

We believe this missile was supposed to hit the Skripals house in Salisbury but went slightly off course.

We will be sending a special team from the Porton Down biolab to check for signs of Novichok.