Following the US Presidential Debate on CNN last night, the world can breathe a sigh of relief as WW3 has been averted.

President Biden confirmed that the USA has finally beaten Medicare, the real enemy of democracy.

The Presidential race will now be decided on who has has the lowest golf handicap as this proved to be the highlight of the debate.

The Democrat administration has announced $60 billion in funding for the Ukraine will be diverted to fund the improvement in debating skills in the US school system.

A spokesperson explained:

Based on last night's performance it is clear that US debating skills have fallen to a new low. This new funding will ensure that our future leaders are never embarrassed again by poor debating skills.

The President's poor performance was entirely due to a cold brought on by climate change caused by the burning of fossil fuels in Russia and China.