The Bishop of St Oggs has told FNN that - regrettably - the UK's most famous cathedral needs to turn to discos to raise funds for a new roof.

St Oggs Archdeacon, the Venerable Henry Blunt, told FNN:

We look forward to welcoming lots of scantily-clad young ladies to our Sunday night discos, managed by our in-house spinmeister DJ Nigga-Noote, known for his expertise in ecclesiastical hip-hop and Gregorian Rap.

We are unable to sell alcohol or drugs at our venue so instead we have struck a deal with Pzfizer to sell Viagra, as many of our our more naive parishioners may mistake it for ecstasy.

Only please don't tell the Dean.

Defrocked Australian Bishop, Bill "Ducky" Heslop commented:

I used to love the discos we held in the 70's at St Hawke's Cathedral in Sydney when I was known as 'The Dancing Queen'.

Unfortunately it all came to an end one night when the Saturday Night Fever came over me and I was caught in flagrante under the altar with some choirboys, the verger and the cathedral cat.