A university lecturer in psychics, was recently awarded over £14,000 in an unfair dismissal case over his excessive use of asterisks in tweets.

However, a judge made this comment to FNN:

The use of multiple asterisks could well change or influence how a recipient might perceive a text message, and might make an otherwise neutral text appear aggressive, intimidating or suggesting disbelief.

The lecturer in question, Bill "Battler" Heslop, told FNN:

Can you f**kin believe it? These c**ts thought that using a few f**kin asterisks in a tweet is offensive. For f**ks sake! Enough of this bulls**t already.

Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinny. I'm parched.

EU spokesperson, Ursula Von Richthofen, commented:

The EU has already banned the use of asterisks in tweets.

Except of course when referring to those f**kin British leave voters. Vorsprung Durch Teknik!