UK PM Sir Keir Starmer and EU leaders are in uproar after President Putin rejected their latest condition for peace in Ukraine.

The NATO leaders are demanding that Russia clear up 17,000 tons of rubbish lying on the streets of Birmingham, England, which they say is due to the war in Ukraine.

A spokesperson explained:

Russia has all that land in Siberia. They could easily airlift this rubbish and dump it there.

But it's clear they don't want peace in Ukraine and just want UK citizens to suffer from what is a smelly health hazard.

Tony Blair's Spare Change Foundation is also rumoured to be considering helping out after they classed the bin bags as 'weapons of mass destruction', while others have called for air strikes on the British city and regime change to remove the Union leader leading the binmen strike.

A Kremlin spokesperson told FNN:

Maybe if they weren't spending all their taxpayers money on providing weapons to the Ukraine to kill people, they would have some spare funds to clear the rubbish off their own streets.

Oh and I wonder how much more 'sensitive' military information is stuffed in those bin bags?

A spokesperson confirmed that President Trump is outraged at Putin's behaviour with this statement:

Let me tell you folks. This is outrageous. Outrageous! Putin won't even remove rubbish from the streets of Birmingham Alabama.

He's gonna have big problems. Big problems. But I have stupendous news for the citizens of that great city. Stupendous news.

I'm gonna put a 50% tariff on Triumph motorcycles and on Cadbury's Hot Chocolate.

And I'm gonna straighten out that mess called 'Spaghetti Junction' and make it look like a US freeway.

Then the USA will annex the whole region and pave it over with a new Trump resort, staffed by refugees from Gaza, complete with a new Hard Rock Cafe dedicated to those great British rock stars from the midlands: Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath.

With US help we'll put that great city on its own Stairway to Heaven.

We've already setup a secret Signal group to manage the process.

What could go wrong?