Amazon is listing as 'currently unavailable' Jean Peste's signature male scent - Fleur D'Anus.

There is also a female version - Eau Du Taint - described as a woody eau de parfum softened by vanilla. Now who would have guessed?

The source of most of the ingredients is thought to be Grarse, a town in southern France, also known as a centre for lavender-scented manure production.

A spokesperson for Lynx told FNN:

With a name like that it's hardly got the bom-chikka-wah-wah factor has it? So we are not worried by the competition from Peste's product.

Australian parfumier Bill 'Battler' Heslop told FNN:

It's just toilet water in a blue bottle for fucks sake! Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinny. I'm parched!