The recent election of Keir Mather as the Labour MP for Selby and Ainsty marks the start of a Labour Party in transition.

It was Saturday night, or was it Sunday morning, when we talked to Arthur Seaton at his lathe in a Chinese-owned bicycle factory somewhere 'up North'.

Arthur is the leader of the powerful trade union, the Transport, Engineering and Railway Federation whose members are known as TERFs. He told FNN:

Eeeh duck. It's great to have another Keir in the party. This one's an Oxford man, you know.

Even if he does look a bit like a cockeyed rent collector.

He's never been down the pit mind but he's had a real job for at least two years in that there public relations and researching and whatnot.

That's the kind of background we want for our MPs. That or Goldman Sachs.

This is the kind of man we need to hold up the Red Wall and keep the Red Flag flying!

I never went with that there New Labour but this is Transition Labour leading us into the brave new world of unisex toilets, lots of new pronouns, inclusive banking and whatnot.

He then spat on the floor, wiped his sweaty forehead with an oily rag and shouted: Don't let the bastards grind you down!