Dr Hanky Panky, Professor of Porn Studies at the University of Copenhagen, has confirmed that porn is at least 3500 years old based on a series of clay tablets depicting erotic scenes that were discovered on sale in Syria.

Dr Panky told FNN:

Our researchers have shown great diligence in finding these ancient tablets that can only be located if you know where to look and the right questions to ask.

Typically they are found either 'under the counter' or on the 'top shelf' in Syrian mens barber shops and are purchased using the code phrase: 'I'd like something for the weekend please' (in Arabic of course).

The tablets, which look rather like biscuits, are sold in packs of ten with a different 'scene' on each tablet. On the back of each tablet is a racy description of the action in cuneiform script, which is unfortunate as not many people are experts in the ancient Mesopotamian writing.